[	mood	|	okay	]
[	music	|	iron & wine	]

well i haven't updated in a cajillion years because thats the last time ive been home :/ its sad that i dont have to put a just kidding after that statement.  The Bahamas was amazing, I cant even tell you how gourgeous it was there.  We had so much fun and now i get to cross stuff off of my "before i die" list which is awesome.  I got my hair braided and thought i saw a plane crash too.. so thats cool. Kelly slept over when we got home too haha then two days later i was shipped off to field hockey camp.  Yes, shipped.  I didnt really want to go at all. But it turned out to be the best camp ever.  The first night we got there.. it was horrible.  Food- horrible.  Dorms- cold.  Which is usually an amazing feature of away camps, 'cause most dont have air conditioning.  But I was so cold, i felt like i was  in an ice-cream cone.  Yes, an ice-cream cone because i felt clostrophobic too (or however you spell that).  The rest of the nights were alright.  the last night there was the best.  We had lofts for two people and a bed on the floor in the 3 person rooms... we had 8 people on the loft.  We got in trouble so much and stayed up until 4 was it?  yeah it was awesome.  The actual learning part of camp wasnt bad either.. it was more instructional than running.  Which is what camps should be.  We'll probably go back next year but it won't be the same without Jennie and Rock.. :( .  its wierd too.. next time we're at camp- we'll be juniors.  Scary to think about. So thursday was our last day at camp.  We won our league which we can't wait to tell stockl and o'connor about.  Thursday night I unpacked.. then packed for harrisburg.  I left for Harrisburg at 5 on Friday morning.  We went to Hershey park.. then played saturday and sunday.  Hershey was fun.. the log flume was the best 

kid-"hey ladies can i get your digits" Stef to the kid- "ugh.. NO?!"  Stef to us - "Who says digits?"  ---lmfao i couldnt' even look at the kid i felt bad.  then Britt -"Dont laugh he might be retarted."  That was the highlight of my day.  Then the Milk Dud guy made my day too. lol I like free hugs.

We got third, it was a good effort.  That may have been my last softball tournament ever.. another sad thing to think about.  I had a pretty bad weekend since I haven't played in a while.. i couldn't hit at all.  I made an awesome catch though.. dove and everything.  And i have a huge battle wound from 'fuzzy wuzzy'.  I can't explain it.. you just have to play the game. So that was my last three weeks.  i was home for approximately 2 and 1/2 days of it.  It's actually wierd- to be honest, Ive never been homesick in my life... and this summer i have been so much its ridiculous.  I want to have a day where i dont know what im doing.. i dont have anything planned.  I just want to sit around and watch a movie or something.. get to sleep in and eat breakfast.. i haven't done that in so long.  I know its good to be busy, but i miss being lazy lol. I miss a lot of things.. a lot of people.  Some more than others and mostly one(s) who read this.  Why do i still dream, and think.. i was fine.  My mind was made up.  Now.. im where i started again.  I can't break his heart anymore, It's not fair to him.  He knows it too..

its never bad enough to just leave or give up                                                                            but its never good enough to feel right. . .

ps. its august.